Loved everything about this!! I was married way too young, and now divorced for a couple years but dating is HARD as a FT single parent, especially in said dating culture. To be fair, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to settle down yet either (am I the problem?? 😂) as there are parts of being single that I love and don't know if I've gotten out of my system yet... but it's all compounded when you're a single parent.
Girl I was feeling the same way, thinking I’m not ready for a relationship but turns out I just dated the wrong people because then I met someone who I could actually see myself with but that didn’t work out either 😂 anyways, long story short, you‘re not the problem, you just haven’t found someone who matches your freak yet haha ❤️
Don’t really get that. Can you elaborate? Why would I control if I don’t compromise? My natural state of being is becoming is emergence is a verb. There is no control in that. And when I’m with someone what happens is we begin to emerge as a we together.
Oh there is conflict, but that’s just a sign that growth happens. If you don’t fight it and just melt into and through it every conflicts just brings you back into more love.
Perfection doesn’t mean to not have conflicts etc. but that you learn to have them in peace. And there are „rules“ I have set in place for the realationships I embrace. I would never be with someone who didn’t experience true love and is therefore able to look beyond a single self. People who never experienced that tend to run from conflict and abandon people.
I dated a lot of girls when I was young. Really a lot.
They’d spend my money then fly away or I’d grow tired of them. So I’d leave.
Then I gave my life to Jesus.
That still didn’t help but it was a good place to start.
One day he told me “ you can’t get what you want till I get what I want. You want a wife and I want you. All of u.
I was afraid he was gonna ask me to go back and live in that lousy Christian commune again. Man, talk about privation!
So one day I said ok sir. I’ll go back if u want me to. But he didn’t he only wanted me willing.
A short time later I met my wife to be.
What impressed me was one day she said” how bout if I make u a meal instead of u spending all your hard earned money.
Wow!
You want to give and not just take?
And I was thinking about this other girl who was sharp.
And as I went down my Checklist I saw she didn’t measure up in most areas.
But the answer kept coming back” but if you love them is that thing the most important thing?” And the answer always was “. No. If I loved them I could live with this or that
And when I was done w my checklist I realized love trumps her face. And figure and temperament
Then God, having finally brought me to this understanding rotated the table taking that one girl out of my focus and bringing my wife into view . And he said,” think about this one.”
That was 44 years, four kids and 11 grandkids ago.
I’m a jerk but I’m a faithful jerk. I made a promise to her and to my God and I will keep it till death.
Here’s my advice for u miss sarah
1) stop giving it away. Sex before commitment weakens your commitment. Why should I marry u when I get to have you for a dinner or snack?
2) realize you are precious beyond words to God. He died on the cross for you. He loves u even if u don’t love him or even love yourself.
3) value urself. You are an amazing writer and a mother and have sooo much going on. Value who u are. You wouldn’t take a priceless work of art and drag it through a sewer. Stop dragging the priceless work of art that is sarah though the sewer.
4) to find a deep loving caring man . Genuinely kind and generous you need to be that kind of woman. Care for others as I know you already do. Spend time w God. Read your bible. Youversion.com is a free bible app. Down load it and read psalms. They’re all about you miss Sarah. And read John. It’s all about how much God loves you.
In short, become the person whom you’d love to be with. And your kindness will draw a like spirit to u. Be what you want and need and God will give u the desires of ur heart.
Wow, thank you SO much for taking the time to write this comment. I really appreciate it! I’m going to take your advice to heart and work on becoming the most loving version of myself. Thank you, and all the best!
Good intentions are a start but u and I cannot become good and patient and kind without Gods help Sarah. Jesus said,” behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone will hear my voice and open the door I will come into them and live with them and then w me.
Jesus offers u a brand new life . A fresh start. A do over just like he did me. Wipe the slate clean. Here’s how u get it. Pray w me now. “Lord Jesus I messed up. But jimmy here says somehow you forgive me sir. If that’s true than I want a do over. Please sir. Forgive me. Give me help to become a better person. More like jimmy and you sir. I’m a mess sir but if you’d want me I’ll be ur mess sir. God I ask u for ur help I. The name of Jesus your son. Amen.
Ok. Now this is what God told me when I first came to him. I asked him how do I love u? I can’t even see you?
He said look at that engaged couple over there. See how they love to spend time w each other? That’s how we need to be. We need to spend time hanging out. Talking. You don’t have to force an engaged couple to spend time w each other. They delight to. That’s how u and I need to be miss sarah. We need to fall deeply in love with Jesus. And we do that by spending time with him each day. Read his bible in the morning before gettting out of bed. Read it at night before bed. Read my bible books to ur kids . I’ve got lots of em. Ask him for his help. A better job. A better car. A better man.
He died for u and rose from the dead to prove to u God accepted his death as payment for our sins.
You don’t earn his forgiveness by being good anymore than ur kids could earn ur love. You just love them. Same w God.
Pray my prayer. Ask him and he’ll do it.
It’s a whole new life and it’s yours if you want it.
I felt this in my stomach. I really feel for anyone on the dating site these days. I can’t imagine it’s easy. People have somehow adjusted to accept the bare minimum while simultaneously wanting more but being afraid to admit it. I used to run from situationships when I was single. As soon as I saw that things were headed into unclear territory, I bolted. It never occurred to me that I could demand what I wanted. When I met my fiancé now. He straight up told me after a few dates that he had every intention to be with me and that was that. Nearly five years ago now. There are people like that out there who also have reached their limit with superficial relationships, dare to tell them what you want and need! Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable.🌹❤️
Wow, this is a wonderful story and it's giving me hope that there are still plenty of people out there who want to receive this kind of love and are ready to give it!! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me <33
Loved everything about this!! I was married way too young, and now divorced for a couple years but dating is HARD as a FT single parent, especially in said dating culture. To be fair, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to settle down yet either (am I the problem?? 😂) as there are parts of being single that I love and don't know if I've gotten out of my system yet... but it's all compounded when you're a single parent.
Girl I was feeling the same way, thinking I’m not ready for a relationship but turns out I just dated the wrong people because then I met someone who I could actually see myself with but that didn’t work out either 😂 anyways, long story short, you‘re not the problem, you just haven’t found someone who matches your freak yet haha ❤️
Yasss, here’s to finding the ones who match our freak 🙏😂💛
“HEARD THAT IN MY ABDOMEN”—a fellow single parent. 🫡
we got this!! <33
🥲🥲🥲 just know I understand!!!! 💛
“Relationships mean compromises.”
What makes you believe that? It’s rare that I read beliefs that make me so sad.
Makes me assume you’ve only been with man you want to diminish you and weren’t able to fully love you.
Great read though.
Just sharing my experience. When two people meet in love it’s always about helping each other realize our highest potential.
No need no compromise if I don’t want to control the ones I’m in realationship with or control where our ship sails.
Don’t really get that. Can you elaborate? Why would I control if I don’t compromise? My natural state of being is becoming is emergence is a verb. There is no control in that. And when I’m with someone what happens is we begin to emerge as a we together.
Oh there is conflict, but that’s just a sign that growth happens. If you don’t fight it and just melt into and through it every conflicts just brings you back into more love.
Perfection doesn’t mean to not have conflicts etc. but that you learn to have them in peace. And there are „rules“ I have set in place for the realationships I embrace. I would never be with someone who didn’t experience true love and is therefore able to look beyond a single self. People who never experienced that tend to run from conflict and abandon people.
Woman after my own heart, Miss Sarah♥️
Consider this the reinstatement of the Ya-Ya sisterhood bc we are here, with you
❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much!!
Wow! Where to begin?
I’ll just jump in.
I dated a lot of girls when I was young. Really a lot.
They’d spend my money then fly away or I’d grow tired of them. So I’d leave.
Then I gave my life to Jesus.
That still didn’t help but it was a good place to start.
One day he told me “ you can’t get what you want till I get what I want. You want a wife and I want you. All of u.
I was afraid he was gonna ask me to go back and live in that lousy Christian commune again. Man, talk about privation!
So one day I said ok sir. I’ll go back if u want me to. But he didn’t he only wanted me willing.
A short time later I met my wife to be.
What impressed me was one day she said” how bout if I make u a meal instead of u spending all your hard earned money.
Wow!
You want to give and not just take?
And I was thinking about this other girl who was sharp.
And as I went down my Checklist I saw she didn’t measure up in most areas.
But the answer kept coming back” but if you love them is that thing the most important thing?” And the answer always was “. No. If I loved them I could live with this or that
And when I was done w my checklist I realized love trumps her face. And figure and temperament
Then God, having finally brought me to this understanding rotated the table taking that one girl out of my focus and bringing my wife into view . And he said,” think about this one.”
That was 44 years, four kids and 11 grandkids ago.
I’m a jerk but I’m a faithful jerk. I made a promise to her and to my God and I will keep it till death.
Here’s my advice for u miss sarah
1) stop giving it away. Sex before commitment weakens your commitment. Why should I marry u when I get to have you for a dinner or snack?
2) realize you are precious beyond words to God. He died on the cross for you. He loves u even if u don’t love him or even love yourself.
3) value urself. You are an amazing writer and a mother and have sooo much going on. Value who u are. You wouldn’t take a priceless work of art and drag it through a sewer. Stop dragging the priceless work of art that is sarah though the sewer.
4) to find a deep loving caring man . Genuinely kind and generous you need to be that kind of woman. Care for others as I know you already do. Spend time w God. Read your bible. Youversion.com is a free bible app. Down load it and read psalms. They’re all about you miss Sarah. And read John. It’s all about how much God loves you.
In short, become the person whom you’d love to be with. And your kindness will draw a like spirit to u. Be what you want and need and God will give u the desires of ur heart.
Your friends,
Frankie Chocolate & Bomb Bradshaw.😘
Wow, thank you SO much for taking the time to write this comment. I really appreciate it! I’m going to take your advice to heart and work on becoming the most loving version of myself. Thank you, and all the best!
Good intentions are a start but u and I cannot become good and patient and kind without Gods help Sarah. Jesus said,” behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone will hear my voice and open the door I will come into them and live with them and then w me.
Jesus offers u a brand new life . A fresh start. A do over just like he did me. Wipe the slate clean. Here’s how u get it. Pray w me now. “Lord Jesus I messed up. But jimmy here says somehow you forgive me sir. If that’s true than I want a do over. Please sir. Forgive me. Give me help to become a better person. More like jimmy and you sir. I’m a mess sir but if you’d want me I’ll be ur mess sir. God I ask u for ur help I. The name of Jesus your son. Amen.
Ok. Now this is what God told me when I first came to him. I asked him how do I love u? I can’t even see you?
He said look at that engaged couple over there. See how they love to spend time w each other? That’s how we need to be. We need to spend time hanging out. Talking. You don’t have to force an engaged couple to spend time w each other. They delight to. That’s how u and I need to be miss sarah. We need to fall deeply in love with Jesus. And we do that by spending time with him each day. Read his bible in the morning before gettting out of bed. Read it at night before bed. Read my bible books to ur kids . I’ve got lots of em. Ask him for his help. A better job. A better car. A better man.
He died for u and rose from the dead to prove to u God accepted his death as payment for our sins.
You don’t earn his forgiveness by being good anymore than ur kids could earn ur love. You just love them. Same w God.
Pray my prayer. Ask him and he’ll do it.
It’s a whole new life and it’s yours if you want it.
Your friends
Jimmy & sarah Beth
I felt this in my stomach. I really feel for anyone on the dating site these days. I can’t imagine it’s easy. People have somehow adjusted to accept the bare minimum while simultaneously wanting more but being afraid to admit it. I used to run from situationships when I was single. As soon as I saw that things were headed into unclear territory, I bolted. It never occurred to me that I could demand what I wanted. When I met my fiancé now. He straight up told me after a few dates that he had every intention to be with me and that was that. Nearly five years ago now. There are people like that out there who also have reached their limit with superficial relationships, dare to tell them what you want and need! Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable.🌹❤️
Wow, this is a wonderful story and it's giving me hope that there are still plenty of people out there who want to receive this kind of love and are ready to give it!! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me <33
Thank you for writing this and being vulnerable! ❤️
Absolutely, love this ♥️
So happy to hear that, thank you! ❤️
So much yes.
It‘s wild out there!!!
Love the way you write. Interesting read ♥️
Thank you so so much!! ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
i mean, where??