Whenever I’m back in San Diego (where I’m from) I see one friend more than I see any others. Sometimes every single day for a week straight! You know why? It’s exactly like you’ve said. We do anything and everything together, bringing our kids along 99% of the time. We text in the AM for an impromptu coffee play date or cook dinner together at her home (with wine) while the kids cause chaos amongst themselves in the living room. I almost hate to say it…but I think we prioritize each other more bc we are both single moms. My friends with their husbands require more scheduling.
such an interesting observation and I feel it A LOT!! single mums just vibe together on a whole different level and there‘s definitely a lot more planning involved with my friends who are in relationships as well! Thank you for reading babe 💕
Oh I love this so much! My best friend moved out of state a couple years ago, and I didn't realize how rare this natural run-errands-together type of friendship really is until we couldn't just hang out and fold our laundry together anymore.
I feel like the "meet up for coffee" dates come with an unspoken rule that the catchup has to be fun, and charming, and pleasurable, and instagrammable. I don't need or want my friends to always be fun and charming. I don't want to feel pressured to perform that way either. How silly that we continue to do this dance.
Thank you so much for writing this. I feel the same way. I want friends present in every part of my life. I want to be there for them, support them, laugh with them, cry with them, scream with them. I want to share my life with my friends so desperately, and I want them to want and expect the same from me. I have often said that if I wasn't married, I'd be a nun of some kind. They live in close-knit communities and spend their whole lives with their spiritual sisters, and I abso-freaking-lutely love that idea. It's sad that this doesn't really exist in the secular world. At least, not to my knowledge.
Your comment about people not wanting to hang out because of a messy house made me spite laugh, because recently, my husband's long-time, very close friend wouldn't let him sleep over on their couch for one night because the wife of the friend said their house was too messy. It was the night before my husband was set to run a marathon and they live an hour closer to the start line than we do. I was absolutely shocked they wouldn't let him stay. Sure, nobody owes anybody anything, I get that. But like, come on, seriously? After 20 years of friendship, that's the line that can't be crossed? A messy house? Our house is a pigsty but I would die for the opportunity to have guests.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I loved this post so much. Hopefully someday, people will "get it" and actual village-type communities will be built and nurtured.
woahh I never thought of nuns that way, but you're right!! they might have figured out the key to life! and I bet the house wasn't even messy but just slightly chaotic, I mean how bad can it possibly be?! thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!! <3
thank you for reading!! I witness the level of social interactions in so many countries across the world and literally the happiest people are always the ones who hang out with others all day long 💕
This resonated so much! I feel like some of my closest friendships that have endured so many phases of life work because we don't need to make spending time together an "event". I'm all for putting effort into your relationships but I think sometimes just hanging out means you can actually make time for each other!
That‘s so beautiful!! I also believe that whatever you give out to others will always come back to you sooner or later in life, so there really is no such thing as giving too much 🩷
Yes!! I want to be with my friends in the small moments that are the all the time moments bc that’s when we are truly DOING LIFE together! I love them at coffee but I also know we need to not feel alone waiting in line at the pharmacy. I love when they allow me to be a witness in their lives! It’s so beautiful to find that connection to them. It makes me feel like my feet are firmly planted on the ground!
Hello Sarah, this really resonate with my experience recently about friendships. Would you mind reading my post about friendship breakup and the process of grieving, it would mean a lot. Thanks
This is soooo good Sarah! I love love this vision of friendship and community. I want my life to be like this! Right now I'm isolated from a lot of my friends bc I'm out of state in grad school, but I can't wait for next year when I move back and can live like this! This piece is so important. Relationships are really the most important part of life, but too often we (myself included for sure!) deprioritize them for other things that won't fulfill us nearly as much!
thank you so much for reading!! It’s so exciting that you have this life ahead of you! I‘m traveling full-time so I also don‘t get to see my friends that often, but when I do it always reminds me of how sweet life is when you‘re doing it with the right people by your side 🩷
This spoke right into my heart, thank you
Thank you for reading!!🩷glad it resonated with you!!
Whenever I’m back in San Diego (where I’m from) I see one friend more than I see any others. Sometimes every single day for a week straight! You know why? It’s exactly like you’ve said. We do anything and everything together, bringing our kids along 99% of the time. We text in the AM for an impromptu coffee play date or cook dinner together at her home (with wine) while the kids cause chaos amongst themselves in the living room. I almost hate to say it…but I think we prioritize each other more bc we are both single moms. My friends with their husbands require more scheduling.
such an interesting observation and I feel it A LOT!! single mums just vibe together on a whole different level and there‘s definitely a lot more planning involved with my friends who are in relationships as well! Thank you for reading babe 💕
Oh I love this so much! My best friend moved out of state a couple years ago, and I didn't realize how rare this natural run-errands-together type of friendship really is until we couldn't just hang out and fold our laundry together anymore.
I feel like the "meet up for coffee" dates come with an unspoken rule that the catchup has to be fun, and charming, and pleasurable, and instagrammable. I don't need or want my friends to always be fun and charming. I don't want to feel pressured to perform that way either. How silly that we continue to do this dance.
omg yes that's such a good point!! it really is a performance, when the last thing friendship should be is performative!
Thank you so much for writing this. I feel the same way. I want friends present in every part of my life. I want to be there for them, support them, laugh with them, cry with them, scream with them. I want to share my life with my friends so desperately, and I want them to want and expect the same from me. I have often said that if I wasn't married, I'd be a nun of some kind. They live in close-knit communities and spend their whole lives with their spiritual sisters, and I abso-freaking-lutely love that idea. It's sad that this doesn't really exist in the secular world. At least, not to my knowledge.
Your comment about people not wanting to hang out because of a messy house made me spite laugh, because recently, my husband's long-time, very close friend wouldn't let him sleep over on their couch for one night because the wife of the friend said their house was too messy. It was the night before my husband was set to run a marathon and they live an hour closer to the start line than we do. I was absolutely shocked they wouldn't let him stay. Sure, nobody owes anybody anything, I get that. But like, come on, seriously? After 20 years of friendship, that's the line that can't be crossed? A messy house? Our house is a pigsty but I would die for the opportunity to have guests.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I loved this post so much. Hopefully someday, people will "get it" and actual village-type communities will be built and nurtured.
woahh I never thought of nuns that way, but you're right!! they might have figured out the key to life! and I bet the house wasn't even messy but just slightly chaotic, I mean how bad can it possibly be?! thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!! <3
It was about time that someone said it out loud!
thank you for reading!! I witness the level of social interactions in so many countries across the world and literally the happiest people are always the ones who hang out with others all day long 💕
Too perfect
This resonated so much! I feel like some of my closest friendships that have endured so many phases of life work because we don't need to make spending time together an "event". I'm all for putting effort into your relationships but I think sometimes just hanging out means you can actually make time for each other!
I wholeheartedly agree!! 🩷
I always feel like sometimes I give to much - but this just made me realise that’s the best thing about me !!!!! thank you for this
That‘s so beautiful!! I also believe that whatever you give out to others will always come back to you sooner or later in life, so there really is no such thing as giving too much 🩷
Yes!! I want to be with my friends in the small moments that are the all the time moments bc that’s when we are truly DOING LIFE together! I love them at coffee but I also know we need to not feel alone waiting in line at the pharmacy. I love when they allow me to be a witness in their lives! It’s so beautiful to find that connection to them. It makes me feel like my feet are firmly planted on the ground!
Yessss you get it!!! so beautifully said <33
i love
oh my gosh you have put into words what I have been frustratingly feeling for months
Hello Sarah, this really resonate with my experience recently about friendships. Would you mind reading my post about friendship breakup and the process of grieving, it would mean a lot. Thanks
Absolutely truth!
PS: Ironic to use FRIENDS snap though. Their reunion showed they are not friends. More like tolerated everyone 😂
I'm not that much into FRIENDS haha, but that's sad!! :(
Show is fine. The Reunion was so uncomfortable to watch as it's obviously fake 😅
This is soooo good Sarah! I love love this vision of friendship and community. I want my life to be like this! Right now I'm isolated from a lot of my friends bc I'm out of state in grad school, but I can't wait for next year when I move back and can live like this! This piece is so important. Relationships are really the most important part of life, but too often we (myself included for sure!) deprioritize them for other things that won't fulfill us nearly as much!
thank you so much for reading!! It’s so exciting that you have this life ahead of you! I‘m traveling full-time so I also don‘t get to see my friends that often, but when I do it always reminds me of how sweet life is when you‘re doing it with the right people by your side 🩷
Loved this !
thank you dear! 💕
Love every single word! Friends (especially mom friends) are the best and sadly the most underrated people sometimes ❤️
yes, we really need to make a conscious effort to protect our friends at all cost! ❤️