What happens when shit hits the fan?

My latest fuck-ups featuring my reverse summer bucket list

My life has been pretty chaotic in the past few weeks, to say the least. A failed move to New York, the return to a city I was already done with a year ago, many moves within said city, the humiliating search for flats in Europe, the humiliating co-parenting situation I have to live with, the fact that I’m unemployed and have no time to build the business I want to build because this co-parenting situation is more like a me-parenting situation, and the fact that I officially realized that coffee is giving me anxiety, which makes me kind of sad but also is a relief because at least it’s one more thing I’ve figured out.

As I was standing in the bathroom in the flat of my ex's friends (don’t ask), drying myself with a cheap blue towel I had just bought, I realized that this blue towel had now left stains all over my body. Looking at myself in the mirror, I genuinely had to laugh at myself for a minute. I realized this was one of those moments where so much had gone wrong that it started to become absurdly funny. In this very moment, all I could think about was: actually, my life recently makes a pretty good article for my Substack. No advice, no deep thoughts, no "follow your dreams" blabla that I’m usually so eager to stress. Just me listing out all the slaps in the face that I’ve received in the past weeks. Why? Because I’m tired of reading the same narrative in which people only talk about their lows once they’ve overcome them. Few people talk about it while they’re deep down in the shitshow and don’t see the other side of the picture just yet.

So here’s my failed list, or my reverse summer bucket list, or my "what the fuck is going on" list and some learnings I apparently needed but could’ve lived without I guess: