Single on Valentines Day

I dare to say it: I love being single and I love being single on Valentines Day!

Undoubtedly, there is this stigma around single moms. According to some comments I recently read below a video, we're constantly miserable and on the hunt for a new baby daddy. The single moms I had the honor of meeting so far actually mirror the exact opposite. They’re always fucking awesome, confident and definitely not on the hunt for anything at all.

Now, Valentine's Day is a special day and you can probably imagine the worried messages you receive when you announce that you will spend this day in solitude. Some singles started looking for a Valentine's date already three weeks ago, while some just hide the whole day under a blanket and hope to have a significant other this time next year. That’s basically the picture we get from singles; it's what movies and magazines showed us since we were little. You are celebrated if you’re single for a little while (we’re talking max 3 months), but don’t you dare crossing that line. If you have the audacity to stay single, you will get punished by faraway relatives who want to set you up with a friend from a friend and their cousin. Thanks, but I'll pass.

I gotta confess that I actually like being single and I like celebrating Valentines Day without a partner. The reason why I like it is because I believe love is the most beautiful emotion we can experience as humans, and I like the idea of having one day a year where we celebrate LOVE. Of course, you can argue that we should celebrate love every day, and although I agree, many of us are busy living our everyday lives, and it’s good to have a little reminder. I have been in relationships since I was a teenager, and as far as I can remember, I always had someone to share this day with. A few months ago, I came to the realization that throughout my entire adult life, I've been depending on the love of someone else, a pattern that has consistently kept me from loving myself fully. Today, I view Valentines Day as a chance to celebrate the love I developed for myself and to take a moment to appreciate how far I’ve come in terms of accepting myself.

Last year was my first single Valentine's Day after 10 years and you know how I spent it? I stayed the night in a hospital in Chiang Mai because my daughter caught the Noro Virus and had to get hydrated. Not exactly how I imagined my first Valentine's Day as a single mom, but at this point, I was just so glad that she was feeling better the next day, and I realized that nothing else actually matters.

So, today we’re going to make up for last years Valentines Day fail and I’m gonna take my daughter on a pizza date, hoping that we don’t end up in a hospital again. I love taking her on dates, and I always treat it like a real date. We both get dressed up; I put my phone in flight mode and simply be completely present with her. Whenever I do this and look around, I so often see couples on their phones or not talking at all, and I’m always more than glad to be in excellent company. 

So, if you’re a single mom and feel intimidated by this holiday and all the oh so happy couples around you, I hope you find the strength to take your kid(s) on a date and enjoy this day to the fullest. It’s so much better to be single than in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling or where your values aren’t met. Romanticising our lives is entirely up to us and we don’t need to wait for the approval of someone else. Also I want to add, there are probably so many people around who already love you to bits, so make sure to call or visit them and be grateful for all the love you already got in your life instead of concentrating on the things that are missing.

Put on your hottest dress, some lipstick and celebrate the day of love!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! <3