my new tattoo

and why it might change your life

I love tattoos because I love good stories, and usually the two are intertwined. They make promising conversation starters that go beyond the painfully boring question on how the other affords to, well, be alive? Some people carefully choose their tattoos, spending years going back and forth with ideas, hiring designers, and evaluating the perfect location—only to end up not getting it. Then there’s me: I saw a quote on Instagram at 11 a.m. and decided to get it tattooed by 2 p.m. Sober and fully aware that this quote will stick with me forever. I do a lot of things for the plot, and I’d say I lean more toward the impulsive side of decision-making. But I’m also low-key terrified of a) needles and b) lifelong commitment—which is why I don’t do acupuncture, heroin, blood donations or relationships. My mum thinks only criminals have tattoos, but I recently realized that I’m a full-grown adult and don’t have to fear my parents’ rejection anymore, which is why I also started smoking but only when I drink so yeah. This wasn’t the first time I had seen the quote that popped up on my feed this morning; I first heard it during an Elizabeth Gilbert writers' retreat in March when an aspiring writer asked her for advice on what to do when she feels like her writing isn’t good enough and is therefore scared to send it to publishers. Her answer was effortlessly genius: she said that people get paid to reject her, which is why it’s silly for her to do that job herself. You may want to read that again. I was mind-blown because I knew she was right and that I had needed to hear this my entire life. In fact, if I had grown up with this mindset instead of an emotionally unavailable father and a fear of rejection, I would probably be sitting in very important and sterile board meetings instead of lounging next to a pool while hammering away on the keyboard of my MacBook right now. The problem with hearing life-changing quotes often is that we very rarely actually change our lives, even though we tell ourselves we will. I guess part of maturing is realizing that you really have to do everything yourself, which is kind of annoying when you have an ADHD brain that constantly jumps from one thing to another with no intention of focusing whatsoever. However, it’s also kind of cool when you think about the fact that you can literally change many things about your life in this very second if you just decide to do so. Anyway, back to my Instagram morning when I saw this post:

Obviously, it caught my attention because I wondered what could possibly be so life transforming about one simple quote.

Eyes glued to the screen, mouth wide open, I kept swiping, and with each slide, I felt like this post was personally crafted and sent by God to stop me from standing in my own damn way. In the next slide, she talked about how she probably wasn’t qualified to write her first book but decided to let someone else make that judgment, just like I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say five months prior. She continued to elaborate on how this simple quote had changed her life, and I instinctively knew that hearing this concept for the second time in a span of a few months—and feeling completely struck by its accuracy both times—was a huge sign that I should eventually start incorporating this mindset into my own life. Up to now, there’s literally been no bigger judge than myself. My fear of rejection, disguised as perfectionism, has doomed me to a lifelong rejection of myself because no one can reject me if I reject myself first. Therefore, I can keep floating safely in my happy, miserable little bubble of never reaching my full potential, but doing so comfortably without ever facing my worst possible fear—criticism. I knew that by no longer being the one to say no to myself, I would break this self-sabotaging cycle and actually get shit done without fearing the outcome.

Three hours later, I jumped on my scooter and drove to an upbeat tattoo studio to mark my skin with the words I never want to forget. I hope you never forget them either, and I hope you never get your partner's name tattooed, and I also hope you have a wonderful week filled with moments when you just decide to go for it because you realize you’re worthy of doing so.