Endings and Beginnings

My Balinese New Year's resolution

Recently, I celebrated New Year for the third time in 2024. (Weird, I know, but that’s showbiz when you’re traveling, baby.) This time, I made a decision that had been overdue for a long time: I want to stop traveling. Perhaps I took it a bit too far— the constant traveling, the non-commiting, the leaving space for the unknown. The concept of leaving space for the unknown was introduced to me by Dr. Joe Dispenza in his book 'Becoming Supernatural,' and it became my New Year’s resolution for 2023. I must say, I did a pretty good job at sticking to this resolution as I never made decisions that were further away than one month, often not even knowing where I would spend the night, let alone the next week. As much as I love this idea, not to mention how it has literally changed my life, I genuinely feel overwhelmed by all the choices I could possibly make every day. There's also the pressure of not only making a decision for myself but also for the miniature version of myself.

1.5 years of raising my daughter on the road have left me exhausted, drained, and broke. For a long time, I felt that this chapter had to come to an end, but I was afraid to admit it, more so because I don’t know if I’m able to fit in somewhere. Additionally, somewhere in my subconscious, there was lingering a feeling of failure for making this decision. It felt like